Is there a reason why you're naked?

So Peanut took me to Polly last night. I was wearing jeans n my awesome watermelon island tee shirt...an outfit i thought completely suitable to having a drink in an old arm chair somewhere down Brunswick st.....WRONG

he took me to Polly...it was what i imagined the bars on the Titanic to be like...all velour n plush...i tried watching the bar staff but i just couldn't stop looking around at all teh red and gold....so pretty...but next time wearing a dress!!!

The Sweetest Taste of All

Ha...Ha..hahahahahhahahaha i might hear you saying.

ok...you wanna know why i laugh?

i passed chemistry...BY TWO PERCENT....51%.....49% IS A FAIL....man oh man...does someone like me upstairs...this means i can continue with my plans for my major and in tunr for world domination!!!!! muhuhahahahahah

and to top it off...i got a high distinction for weather....dont ask me how....mega fluke......now i can not worry about going back to uni for the summer.....yipppeeeeee

i love you world!

and just coz i can......

I am so ashamed

well i have oficially crossed over to the outher side.

i did it. i sold my sole to the devil...

you can now find me on facebook....and the worst part is..I CAN'T STOP!

i almost missed my train coz i was finding people from my old high schools n that....so so so very embarrassed. so naturally i thought i should share my shame

Monday, monday

starting work at the jazz bar on monday night! i asked for one night a week just to see how i go. should be great fun!

i love to be making friends...

last thurs i called some guy peanut gallery n tried to (poorly) explain the meaning of the saying...i e that it is a dumb comment made by some unworthy sod....then...realising my faux pas i tried to backpedal...NO...YOU"RE not unworthy...that kind of thing. anyway...i thought i'd never see him again...ne so felt kinda bad.

But alas! Tues night, Ben n i turn up at 9pm. still early. empty bar. not looking promising. and at about ten the place was totally packed...like every seat had a bum on it...n some were standing. i digress. we are looking around n ben points out this guy standing alone n says....he looks like he could do with a friend...and he looks at me in that "i know you!" kinda way....IT WAS PEANUT GALLERY! so him n his lady friend came n sat with us n made a lovely little quartet! he is a piano player n just recorded an album. am going to see him on fri night in richmond as he has a gig as part of a latin band. so artsy.

anyway...the band we saw that night was a crazy trio. what heavy metal is to rock....razz is to jazz. i found it a little disconcerting. not the smooth jazz i can get lost in...but it does give you somethign to think about when u are trying to piece all teh instruments together. it kinda sounded more like they were all trying to play over the top of eachother rather than feed and intensify one another. having said that. each musician was exceptional in his own right and must be commended on their ability to hold down the timing and beats of this new age jazz movement!

It Is Only a Paper Moon

Oh man......so have been frequenting the best jazz bar in the southern hemisphere. went last thurs and last night too. we have befriended the girl behind the bar who happens to be the most amazing person ever! she has lived in europe for a little, plays the piano really well, makes killer gin and tonics and can speak fluent german after learning it for FOUR months. she is my new idol. eat it up bitches.

last night we were graced by the presence of a mr Vince Jones. his voice made me melt in the pants and i have developed an old man crush. he plays the trumpet and sings,,,with his caramel voice, there is a mental drummer, a fantastic double bass player and a david helfgottesque pianist. they were unbelievable.

i believe i have found my niche. sitting in a darkened bar with blue lights, clean toilets adn swooning jazz. now all i need is the age to go with my new life!

and i was offered wokr at this hovel.....maybe i will...maybe i will

Oprah got FAT!

watching Oprah at Bentleigh home with mum.

the world is melting it is so hot.

heading off to buy cake for ben soon before going home n making BURRITO"S for dinner..yipeeeeeeee! been craving mexican for ages..akthough dunno how i'll go sleeping with bean bag tonight!!!!!

ouch

bought some threadless tee's as Likim let me know that there was a SALE on! i love CAPS LOCK

so now its sitting tight for the next 3 weeks until my shirts come n hoping that teh parcel won't get stolen from outside my commission home-vicinity house.

Ferric to Ferrous

So my brain is oozing out of my ears and nose. Been trying to remember biology facts about mutations and variations and phylum, kingdoms, orders and coeloms....gargh...not long till the big day..mental.

This is how scared i am about exams

so apart form exams busting my balls.....we FINALLY used our freee tickets for teh sky wheel a Birrarung Marr. We have been putting it off forever but finally we wandered on down the Yarra and hopped on!

i never realised how pretty Melbourne can be!

This is how damn fast the thing was going i tellsya!

Mean Greenie

Getting lease and stuff sorted out now. mental. its taken the other boys three weeks to get some paperwork filled out which was meant ot b done within 5 days of my moving in. dum.

they broke my pyrex. now for those of u unaware my pyrex and i were like this...**crosses fingers to show close knit relationship** and for those of u obnoxious enough to not know what a pyrex is...shame on you.

Wiki: Pyrex was originally borosilicate glass. Though borosilicates had been produced before, the name Pyrex is widely used as a genericised trademark for the material. Corning spun off its kitchenware division in 1998 as World Kitchen, Inc. However, Corning retained the Pyrex brand name, licensing it to World Kitchen and other companies that produce Pyrex-branded cookware. IT"S CHEMISTRY GLASS!!!!!!!!!!!! and check this out....i have found my home...http://www.pyrexlove.com/

and the boys are really grubby. Its ok coz one boy is moving out in jan n hopefully another girl will move in instead. we can be CLEAAANNNN

we have a courtyard which is ace for nice sunny breakfasts before uni...and...get this.....7 min walk to uni. CHYAH in ur face commuters

on an unrelated topic...bought the Big Issue today...feeling bad about my carbon footprint.....aiming to be more green......so u bitches better be with me ok???

It's a Work in Progress

had i left it one more week it would have been a month without a post. just couldn't help myself...

Borders is soo good. everyone there is so awesomely fabulous and nice. they knew who i was before i even got there. kinda creepy but totally sweet. pay is fortnightly though. but the discounts are awesome. and also they don't make u stay in the same spot for ur whole shift. they stuck me on info which was totally dum as i was like uhhmm yeh.. no idea....just ask him. but at least i had a killer time with my lanyard...say it with me.. lan...yer..dd. and, get this. i get a headset and a WALKIE TALKIE!!!!!!! so all the staff are connected n u just speak into ur little mic which is clipped onto ur lan yer d and viola...everyone can hear u as if u were right there next to em. Brilliant!

My last wek of uni classes this week then swot vac then.. DAH DAH exams for three weeks. killer.

soooo looking forward to the three months off after all this is done.

Party Time. Excellent

Friday came and Friday went with all my pocket money spent.





And then......





A ringing of the phone soon told me





That i was to be





A quirky Borders employee





And to top off a day of good news





I got a place





SO I CAN MOVE!!!!!!








Ok so that was the most paathetic rhyme i could compose but the idea was there. ie. letting you know that my spirits were lifted enough to be creative. and that my holidays weren't , in fact, wasted.



and just coz i can...

One Word: OPTUS

got phone bill yesterday. sure it is for 3 months. sure there was some pamphlet with it saying there was some sort of delay with adding on some extra charges.

MENTAL.....take a deep breath and have a guess at how much my sister and i have received a bill for. considering we make about one local call a day if that. we both use our mobiles for most things and internet is NOT included in this bill.

ready.

you sure?

ok

$437.40

yeah. so uhhmmm. looks like its the streets for us for now.

Much ado about Nothing

Hmm. SO finding a place to live is the shit. and not a good the shit. just plain SHIT.

had a look at one place. looked as if a bomb had gone off in there. and one of teh rooms didn't even have a window. it was like a shoe box that someone left the lid askew. oh well. got no call back after meeting her. no biggie. but having said that, that DID put a dampner on my spirits. chin up they say. keep your freaken chin up.

and in other prospecting work have been out searching for work. handing my resume out like it was a flyer for a cheap diamond place in bourke st. i only wish i had a sign taped to my front and back saying....'I am willing and able. I have two hands and 8 fingers. Hire Me Mother Fuckers' yes. 8 fingers. teh other two are thumbs you podantic slag whores.

jeez the filth is puoring out thick adn fast and i think that coffee is to blame. haven't had the stuff in ages and all of a sudden somehting possessed me to have one with my cake today. WIRED

anyway...off to call yet another one re house. nope. another failure. he's 36 yet still got thru my dum search filter thingy. oh well

and by the way....people are coming over tomorrow night so if one is inclined...get yo bitch ass over to the eastside ok peoples??

Staying Chaste in Laverton

hm. where to start with such an adventure?? well teh beginning tends to be the trend.

so here goes:

5 pm Yarra River, Flinders Bridge. Measuring tide for a prac for Atmosphere and oceans. Fine but quite hungry.

6pm Kensington. Foxtel virgin eyes no more. No longer hungry due to chicken sized chicken burgers

7:30 pm South Kensington Station. Punks on platform. But otherwise fine.

8:15 pm Aircraft station. mmm. smells like country. walk a bit. and a bit more. very very dark. more walking.

8:40?? Club Rooms Bruce Comben Reserve CLub Room. Mark's 21st. No mark

8:45 Location as above. after walking around teh outside of the building we try again. This time success. He is there. i punch my greeting and then i leave him alone. we sit listening to sad opera and Ben notices this guy. Ask him for further info re: 'The Guy"

9 pm Left party. On the way through scary streets a group of 14 y.o girls fall out of this place we just walked past. they start calling out to us. asking if we wanted to 'have fun'. no answer from us. we just pick op the pace. 'you. the fucking blonde'. yep...walking faster. blister rubbing. 'do you want me to fucking chase you?' oh my. there's no place like home. there's no place like home. unfortunately clicking my heels together did jack shit n we still had to schlep to the station. over a freeway and past some Jonah's.

10:30 pm. Home. finally. tuck into bed. all a bad dream.....then where are these from??

The Crazy footbridge across the freeway

This one i am looking at the freeway..hoping teh footbridge will hold. Ben is just happy to be going home.

Party Time Excellent

As the totally bogus boys of Wayne's World say...He's gonna eat you donut man!
anyway.....so Ben's birthday. dinner was mental. i thought that as a pole i was adept to eating far more than my own weight in food. WRONG. i actually felt sick. Me. Sick from TOO MUCH food. mental.

anywho..here are some tre pretty pictures of an uber good gorgefest.




so..got group interview with david jones in the city mon fortnight. wish me luck bithces. please. i need it.

and now for the cutest thing

and on anoher happy happy happy note..the cutest thing since i discovered monchichis....which i lost on ebay....some mother outbid me....on a goddamn monchichi!!!!

Most offensive ad on TV

ok..make that ads. there are two ads on tv that are totally busting my balls...no waaaaiitt.. make that 3. yeah. 3 ads. one just pisses me offf and thats the new dumb lynx one. god i hate it. dumb dumb dumb.

there are two more. both the kan tong ad and the 'ridgy didge Indian' food ads offend me..and i am neither of those races. show me an asian that would actually cook with Kan Tong. only the white man buys that sugar sauce. its like mustard pickles with instructions on how to pour it onto meat.



as for the Pataks one. people must have been so offended they didn't even stick it onto youtube. NOT EVEN OON YOU TUBE

yes..all this really proves is that i have been spending far too much time watching tv. i have been lying in my own filth, coughing up slurp and keeping up to date with my 'Neighbours' HA!..oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god..speaking of which. Vicky Dean from A Country Practice is teh mother of this new kid, Ringo, adn oh my...she has a bad man haircut...ut she will always be my Vicky Dean. oh how i miss that show.

so i might go back to uni tomorrow....although i have become rather addicted to Dr Phil, who, might i add, ahs become merely a tame version of Springer. The other day they had this woman and her husband who had an affair with his wife's sister..in his family home. HA! how's that for ya Mr Fixit??

Thanks A lot Good Thing

so here i am being really nice to strangers of late. my customer service skills at work are really really really swell if i may say so myself. the other day i helped an old blind man find the bus stop when the trains weren't running and last week i gave up my seat for an old lady on the train. there were tonnes of other young people but all ignored the fact she was standing at the back of the carriage. i got up, told her to sit and stood where she was standing. SHE DIDN"T EVEN LOOK AT ME. didn't say thank you. didn't say fuck you. didn't appreciate that there were tonnes of other bitches which sat on their arses and ignored that she existed. ok..i sucked it up.

but waiting for the train at Caulfiedl today something happened. something which made me hate every fucking human on the face of this earth. i am not prejudiced i just hate everyone. disabled. debilitated. crippled. fuck you. fuck you all

i was sitting on the end of a bench at the station today waiting for my train. with 2 huge bags of shopping and totally fucked as we were slammed at work. i had my head down practically asleep when all of a sudden this white stick is hitting me across the shins. i follow the stick up and this "blind" man is pushing me up and out of my seat by hitting me with his white stick.

i was so horrified that jumped up n moved off. and he sat there talking to the back of my head about how he doesn't live at home and that he only talks to his parents once a week and what not. I DON"T CARE


so thats what you get when you are nice to people. a big fat fucking slap with a wet rag across ur uglky face.

So my slags

haven't finished Harry Potter. Have been spending a lot of time with him in bed though. heeheee
been trying to avoid people's conversations if they look liek they may be Potter orientated.

started a new subject this semester called history and philosophy of science. mental. they asked us last week to come up with our own model of science, how we see it and how we think it should change as an entity. it makes me think. only chose it coz it doesn't have an exam at the end of semester. we were divided up into little groups today and asked to discuss a given topic. ours was Social Darwinism and the first wolrd war's impact on it. pity was...none of us knew what the hell this social darwinism was.

'A simpler racial attitude based on this "social Darwinism" is the belief that races need to be aggressive in order to survive. Darwin's theory of natural selection clearly saw each individual and species as being in a constant struggle for existence, with the best fitted prospering and less well suited tending to diminish in numbers, gradually leading to extinction. This was modified in such versions of "social Darwinism" into the belief that throughout history it was the weak species and races that died out or were exterminated, with the White race regarded as the greatest race because it had an attitude of superiority and a will to conquer. The White man had conquered the savages in some places and in other places had simply wiped them out, as the Americans had done on their continent and the British had done in New Zealand and Australia. It was the White race that deserved to survive from the viewpoint of "survival of the fittest".

its like Border Security, Surf Patrol, Police Files Unlocked and Bondi Rescue all rolled into one!
Brilliant!

Totally creaming my Jeans

and here be why.....eeheheheheheee



and finally the boy who looks best donned upon my right breast....


ok..so i added the caption. is that a crime???? my eyes are tearing thinking about him standing up to Bellatrix...'better now they [his parents] are about to be avenged' ooohhh NEVILLE

thanks li kim....u have made my day..no wait week....oh...Neville

nothing to report

i HAVEN"T made a Simpson's character.
i HAVEN"T found a place to live
i HAVEN"T found a new job
and i HAVEN"T decided i like uni anymore than i did last semester.

so suck on that pessimism.

and one more..I HAVEN"T finished Harry Potter...coz after that is finished i HAVEN"T got anything to live for.

Just because i can

You're a Wizard Harry

oh harry. waited in line for around an hour to see Harry Potter on opening night at IMAX. teh main action scene in 3D!!!!!!!!!!!
am soooo in love with Ron all over again. And Evanna Lynch as Luna Lovegood was so awesome. she totally nailed the whole dreamy, yet totally loveable and loyal Luna. so many L's in that sentence.

The ministry was much much darker than i remember it being portrayed in the book. I had this image of oranges, gold and brown and was quite shocked when they stepped out of the life into this bazaar, sterile place. it did suit the room where the prophecies were housed though.

As for my biggest issue. THE ARCHWAY. there was so much hinging on this in the book. it was so ominous and poignant and the they just go and kinda just have it sitting obsolete in this surreal hall. If i hadn't read the books before, this bit would have totally messed with my head.

the rest was just a total assault of my senses. and will be again when i see it again. and again. and maybe once more for good luck. ha!

gotta go. Mark Phillopousus or whatever his anem is's new show is on. Brilliant. he is such a BONEHEAD!

Oh Boy der security

I am so in love with another of channel 7's brilliant pieces of Australian television. BORDER SECURITY I LOVE YOU.
this pregnant asian woman was just searched for drugs. They were in her shoes!!!!!! brilliant. man these drug smugglers are fucking genius. She has 2 little kids with her too....crazy
they cut the soles out of the inside n just leave the inside. they managed to stuff $400 000 worht of heroin inside their shoes n just cover it with an insole. brilliant. is it wrong i find this man hot?


hit the human body exhibition with mum today. so intense. little plastinated pieces of human hung up, light up and glorified. they had these audio tour guide things u pay $2 n they give u a headset n this device that u press teh number of the display into n it guides u through the whole thing. brilliant.

bought an electric egg beater. brilliant. made chocolate mousse. made me kinda ill but...brilliant!!

had my wisdom teeth out. not so brilliant. didnt hurt as much as people said it would though. ha! wasn'tthis bad...man...deal with it people.


dammit..some harmless old british guy who has a twenty yr old conviction was refused entry for 3 freaken days. c'mon. oh...65 yrs old...he just wanted to be here for 3 days.

A long long time ago

well....hmm what can i say? saturday night. called in sick sun morning. the rest...well u can just look at the photos.

Diet so far

Monday: dad's yeast cake, tea x4, fried fish, lard sandwich...i'm not kidding turkish strength coffee x2
made cheesecake
Tuesday: dad's yeast cake, cheesecake, tea x3, dad's uber strength ethanol-esque wine, coffee as above, chicken soup, banana, shop coffee, meatballs, potatoes, warm beetroot salad, accom. by ethanol
Wednesday: cheesecake, dad's strong coffee x2, sausage sandwich, lard sandwich, apple, banana, scotch finger, chicken schnitzel, potatoes, meatball, gherkin, with dinner we cooked mushrooms which we found growing in our citrus orchard sooo yummy, ethanol, hazelnut chocolate which dad claims to have found in the park
Today: cheesecake, coffee x2, tea, yoghurt, ham sandwich, spaghetti, corn, sausage sandwich, strawberries form farm near ours, cherries, dad's wine, kit kat chocolate
made tort ( layered sponge soaked in sour cherry syrup, with choc- coffee cream topped with fresh strawberries....look for pics soon)
and gingerbread cake....sooooooo good.
so my metabolism is working waayyy overtime. i am worried that i can't see past my gut. note to self: invest in some eating clothes

see you bitches fom home soon.

looking back at all that kinda makes me nauseous. doesn't it? huh? huh?

Here

Yo my slags.

Flew in one of those uber new planes with the screens in the back of the headrests. Sooo swish. I watched the progress of the plane across the country on an animated satnav thing. Brlliant.

Also watched episode of PrsonBreak on my iPod. Brilliant.

Sneezing like crazy. Not so brilliant.

Anyway, it’s like 9 pm so I have to hit the hay as that is the thing to do here.

By the way…happy birthday Vicky

Hah!

waking up at 5 somehtign tomorrow.
going to queensland few hours after that.

SUCK SHIT FAT TURDS!!!!!!

Blue Skies. 4 Degrees

on the coldest day yet i had a few hours to kill waiting for a friend so i decided to wander around one of my least visited and coldest places in Melbourne.

you can guess where i went..i am too lazy to write any more




and this is what i found when i hit the end of the road....