O what a week

so...i'm officially a uni student now...enrolement was a total slag and my god everythign is so nutso right now.

i waited in one queue for 15 min to get in to get my papers photocopied only to be stuck in a room for 5o min...yep you read right waiting for my subject advisor interview. i got in to see her and it was as if i stepped into Linda's office....."Martin...this is Lind---ahhh" no really she even asked some woman..who happened to be named LINDA that she 'ha[d] a studentthere who wanted ot know if she could do german in part of her science degree"..Carol..You know Carol...Blonde hair, very pale..always looks as if she's looking over your shoulder...yess.....anyway..from there i had to go and wait for another half an hr in yet anther line to file my enrolement forms...then i was sent to another queue (about 10 min this time) to get my photo taken. and it looks shit anyway. i am a tomato with yellow hair. the girl taking teh photo goes..yeh it happens to all blondes. i'm like gee...thanks.
and you;d think i'd b done by then..NOPE. another queue..for teh diary. seriously..i ran out of there as soon as the guy handed me my diary. i literally turned on my heels and bolted.

and now actually into uni week. most of my practicals haven't started as yet so i have like 4 hr blocks of free time here and there. the biol lecturer always makes me fall asleep, no matter how hard i try to keep my eyes open. AND they originally had me at uni from 8am till 10 pm on mondays..crazzyy. so i changed that round..only there till 6 now. so exhausting to go from doing nothign for 4 months to suddenly having to write down notes, find class rooms, buy books and try adn get my head around modern literature. a book a week...what teh shit??

so today...well...let me just give you some background as to what is going on in teh background of my uni life..mum is flying to poland the day after my birthday and she is going for 4 weeks. that means the only people that'll b here will be..ME. that means that while she is partying away on the other side of the globe i have to maintain teh finances here. ie pay the rent and the bills while she's gone..no for all you independeant sons of bitches out there it may seem like a reasonable thign but get this...i get $100 a week from work right now...stil need to buy school books and pay uni fees....rent is $235 a week and I GET NO CENTRELINK. i don't quite know how i am going to do it but i guess i have no choice.

i asked her how she expects me to do it and she replied...."no one asks how i can do it!"
hmmmm...any ideas for a quick buck besides selling my body???

and then today, getting off teh bus, i left my wallet behind. i realised within minutes that i didn't have it as i wanted to buy a coffee before my tute. i totally flipped out coz really its the last thing i need right now. i did the only thing i thoguh of doing..BEN...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!...so being teh awesome person that he is Chuah got onto the bus company adn then went all the way to West Footscray to pick up his stupid sod of a friend's wallet. He then brought it to me with hot jam ball donuts. what a gem!

then...after having my wallet back in my possession for little over an hr we went for lunch on swanston street. i took my (mouth) plate out and wrapped it in a napkin and put it beside my (eating food) plate. i ate my meal...moped about how the fuck i was going to get $1000 for mum's "holiday"..and then we elft to Big W. as i stood wondering which chocolate i felt like i ran my tongue over my teeth only to find that there was no wire there...i shat myself...flipped out..started crying in the middle of Big W and then strudged on down to where we ate hoping like hell that they hadn't piffed it. to my amazing luck they dfound it and kept it behind teh counter...lucky i tipped when i payed huh?

so if there is one thing i have learnt...always be good to others...coz u never know when u will really need others to look out for you.

to all the strangers that helped me out today i just wanna say thanks..i will never scowl at strangers again....except for when i am at work.

the end

Agatha Trunchbull: I like a joke as well as the next fat person!

Got my porky little mitts on 'Matilda' today. FOR 9.99...reduced from 36.99. i felt so proud of my bargain. Got Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. 14.99. not bad. we had the cassette but it got warped and doens't play. gotta love technological superceedings.



So...Valentine's day. Impro beef strip Greek-ish wraps. SO yummy. SO easy. and relatively cheap. Oh God..even Neighbours is Velntine'sing it up.

Today is my last day of official holidays as i am workign everyday till monday..when i am...yep...u got it..OFF TO UNI...HA!

Got my teeth off yesterday. Feel naked and kinda weird...could be the wire and plastic currently in my mouth producing excess saliva and forcing me to talk with every imaginable lisp...S's, R's, B's....pretty funny... for everyone else.



ANd now.....the epitome of my week..i slunk into Brotherhood on Centre Rd and found somethign spectacular. I found the JUmper that Kath wears. The Blue one with teh Koala and the wattle on teh shoulders....u know the one...handmade. $12...big fork out but i'll wear it...just watch me bitches!

Tell Me Why i Don't Like Sundays

Or Mondays or any day that i am rostered on to pierce the thin skin on my inner arms with red hot needles. Yeh. I'm talking Safeway. It makes me physically sick when i think about going to work now. One girl left a few weeks ago to become a teacher. Finally leaving teh cesspool to make her way in the real world. Her shift still hasn't been replaced. More fuckers are shopping at this particular store and each person that mosies in on a weekend morning is horrified to realise that their oh so ingenious plan of 'going shopping before everybody else does' backfires. All day ther are at least 3 trolleys banked up at each register. teh fucking store managers have to get on register to clear the place out. People get agro. I run out of change. I glare at customers all day and only talk to them when asking if they r paying by credit. I get 'tsk'ed all day by agitated housewives that stupidly decided they had run out of EVERYTHING and feel the need to do $300 worth of shopping on my time.



I can feel the burning hole in my stomach. Not from teh leftovers of Indian i just ate. Nor is it due to the suspense of Prisonbreak that i just watched. It's coz i know i have to face the same douche bags as normal. Put on that same sickening fake smile/ glare and break my back and balls being a Safeway slave. I wish i never had ot get out of bed.


P.S I WANNA MOVE

Lets just say it moved me. To a bigger house! Oh crap, I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud.

Saw Jake again yesterday. This good-bye was for real. We hugged and all. Don't think i'll see him again but. Our whole day was planned around getting dumplings from teh Shanghai Dumpling House in Tatersall's Lane in chinatown. We met and scoped the lanes only to be confronted by a darkened Dumpling House with a sign stuck to its front window reading: 'This premises is closed for a period of time. Sorry for inconvenience' and inside, sat teh chefs, sharing a tea and staring sheepishly at us 2 whities peering haplessly into their store. Dammit. SO that blew our tight-arse lunch plans outta the window. SO we decided to keep exploring chinatown till we went in to some place where a woman was brandishing a menu and calling to us across the street.


we went in and were silenced with awkwardness. it was this white linen service restaurant and there were only 4 other people in there. 2 were a couple on a cosy date adn the other 2 were Godfather-type mafia-esque Eastern Europeans. They were sipping strong coffees and eating square ice-cream. we were seated the next table on, by this overly authoritative waiter. he hung around us like a bad smell and didn't smile or talk. He brought us water and, in jake's words, 'apparantly i was too frail to lick the glass' as only i was given a straw. I did the whole awkward...uhh i'm gonna need a fork thing and we started eating. The food wasn't anythign spectacular but we paid out the arse for it. And the waiter managed to trick us into buying $10 rice too. Man. Never again. And as we sat eating some guy came up to the window and peeres in. like cupping his hands right around his face so he could have a good squiz. Who the shit does that??? so it was just us left. eerily quiet and strangley date-like. At least neither of us will forget our last moments as uber friends.


sigh...wish i was going overseas. sucks monkey's ass..actually no. i lie...i'd b too scared to go overseas right now.
In Other news, bought a new journal form Borders. So pretty. So many pages. Am going to start sticking things into it as well as writing out my thoughts. Like little souvenirs. Oh god. What if i turn into that guy from Everything is Illuminated? Collecting shit from everywhere. I"M A HOARDER AS IT IS!!!!

and jake...safe trip. keep me posted jerk.

You Can Walk Inside my Shoes

SO. work went reasonably quickly today. Only Eddie got up my goat re: the new shirts. i think they may contain traces of metal coz the collars and cuffs r hard as sheets of steel. Some guylaughed at how particular i was being with his Cadbury, laughing that chocolate blocks always break as soon as you take them out of the supermarket. He literally chuckled and walked off. Craazzy.

I served Andrew Clarke today. Does no one know who he is? Man. He was in Skippy, Prisoner, Sons and Daughters, Neighbours, Alwyas Greener, Man from Snowy River (the series) and had a cameo on like a bazillion shows. Even on...get this... A Country Practice. Man. My idol. So. Anywya. No one at work knows why i stalk him around the store pretending to be putting groceries back on shelves. I'm really spying on his shopping. He sticks to HomeBrand. Things musn't be going too well for my chum.


Anyway. Normally when i saerve him he is a git. Take our last conversation:

me: "How you going today?"
Andrew: "Shithouse"
Me: "That's the spirit"
Andrew: "It's bloody hot outside"
Me: "I'm alright. I'm in a/c"
Andrew: "Yeah"

so...not much 4 talking to slaves hey Clarkey boy?? But today he was quite civil. Exchanged a smile and was ever so polite. Maybe he's been invited to regain soe popularity on a reality show or sumfink or nuffan.
You're still a champ to me Clarkey. Mum used to work with him, making costumes. He carried my brother Cyp on his shoulders for an extras role in the fillum ANZACS. So, how is that for a claim to fame to shove in your pipe and smoke??? hehehehehe.


bought a new toothbrush today. a big one. my first big one in a yr and a half. teeth are coming off next wed. then comes the plate. then some wire to hold it all in place for the next 6 yrs. STRAIGHT TEETH!!!!!!!

But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds... Oh, I've wasted my life.

So back to the mundane. The ordinary. The god damn eye-gaugingly nauseating norm. I hate my job. I hate teh turds that come in and throw their groceries at me and comment on my 'nice new shirt'. It's vomit green for f*&%'s sake!

So Brisbane was hot. Cling to your skin and make ur upper lip sweat hot. It made me sleep. Eat. Sleep. Eat a bit more. And then nap it off just to be safe.

Saw my awesome Barry. His dad's getting married in Sep so he is delaying moving down here till after that. THE JERK. Anyway. Means i am not going anywhere in a hurry. Stuck in Bentleigh. So over it. Breaking my balls but..meh..what can i do?

While i am lamenting i will insert some awesome Ben-esque photos from teh property and our extremely exuberant holiday.



the public transport is way weird over there. There are 32 zones and tehy encompass teh city. progressing in rings, similar ot melbourne's zoning system. BUT. get this, right. Dad lives in Eagle junction. The equivalent of say Prahran or South Yarra. U can walk to town if its not too hot. Guess how much a ticket was into town? go on. guess.

Yep. $5.20. WHAT???

Anyway, when we did get into the city we explored the new Brisbane square. there is this Futurama inspired library. It is literally a launchpad with a/c. There are like 4 levels and a floating room. There are about a million computers and the thnic section...man...so good.


Then once Brisbane was left behind we hit the Gold Coast to see Ben's nana. We missed the bus so opted to walk. With suitcases up and down Gallipoli sized hills. Bless the Gold Coast hinterland.


From there we hit MovieWorld. So mega extreme fun in the pants. I will once again focus your attention on the mammoth splendour of the man-made beauties which hurled us from side to side and upside down at face squashing speeds. No i'm not talking trolls.


told you i would sloowly update the photos. But i am getting bored now. As are you. Back to work tomorrow. Braces coming off on Valentin's day. Enrolement day on the 19th. then orientation week from teh 20th. So crazy. my last weeks of freedom and limbo. ps. i wanna move. in case u missed that earlier.